Entries Tagged as 'Body'

One Of The Scariest Feelings I’ve Experienced

02/3/2017

I had just arrived home from the hospital to our little chilly box apartment in Kathmandu, after suffering a mystery bout of gastro in mid-December last year. My senses felt assaulted by the sound and movement of the streets we’d just woven through in our tiny taxi – tooting and swerving, dust swirling and stray dogs barking. My beautiful man (who’d been by my side throughout), gently welcomed me back in with fresh flowers and the promise of creamy mashed potatoes for dinner (heaven after hospital food).

I was so thankful and relieved to be back ‘home’. Away from thrice-daily IV fluid drips, being woken up with the pinching pain of ANOTHER blood test (whoever dreamt up 6am blood tests is a sick bugger), vital checks every two hours, the general buzz and beeping of the hospital ward – being at home in the (relative) silence was bliss.
I set up camp on the floor near the heater. I felt the need to feel supported, grounded and held – and being off the ground, even on the couch, was making me nauseous.


I closed my eyes and tuned into my body, which felt VERY different after the hospital stint. I’d had a cannula put into both hands (one became too swollen to keep it in after a few days) and this was the first time in a while that my body didn’t have any medical instruments poking into it. I did a feeling scan through my body and energy system, seeing if anything leaking needed to be plugged or smoothed over. And what I felt was – not a lot at all.

While I had physical sensations in my limbs, there was no sense of my light body or my usually strong energy deeply anchored into being. I felt my soul was hovering around my head area and didn’t want to drop back in to my body. I realised, with the help of a beautiful friend at the other end of FB messenger, that there was a complete lack of trust in my body at that moment. It had let me down and my soul had unplugged itself from my internal energy anchors. What this left me feeling was the cold breath of anxiety, scared to move, disembodied, alone, disconnected and numb.

It was ridiculously frightening. I couldn’t understand how my light could have left me. I’d done so much work to anchor it and now it felt totally absent. The emotional pain and fear of loss was torturous.

Then it hit me – this is how I used to feel ALL THE TIME.

Disconnected from myself, from the universe and from the light. All up in my head, numb in my body and trying to stave off anxiety with every self-help trick in the book.

That’s what normal used to feel like.

– Fear breathing down my spine
– Disembodied and numb
– Disconnected from any sense of light

I would chase away these feelings daily, by distracting myself with everything I saw that was wrong externally and ‘needed to be fixed’.

  • I read all of the books
  • Pored over ALL of the blogs
  • Watched all of the inspiring movies (hello, The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know)
  • Watched the TED Talks
  • I could give sound and loving advice to others like a little oracle
  • I talked about concepts and understood every zen, new age, spiritual concept INTELLECTUALLY

But all of this just floated around in my mind and energy field, never fully landing within me. It may as well have all been communicated in Venusian, for all the good it was doing me. I ached to truly f*cking GET what all of those words, videos, and movies were actually talking about. And know it deeply. In my bones.

It wasn’t until I got real with myself (i.e. finally stopped distracting myself) and allowed myself to dive deep within to do the internal work, that I was finally able to open my receiving channels to these messages and the wisdom they contained. It wasn’t until I got to know the light in me, the darkness in me, expanded my heart portal w-i-d-e open and activated my energy centres to such a point that they were BURSTING with higher cosmic light, that I came to have an anchored and EMBODIED sense of everything I’d heretofore absorbed purely in my mind.

I liken this to the difference between holding a stunning chocolate truffle torte (or apple tartin if that’s your thang) in your hands; rather than diving head first into it and luxuriating in its velvety deliciousness. (Okay, maybe you’d be ladylike and use a dessert fork, but you see what I mean hey?) By just holding it, you’d be able to tell me all about it – what it looked like, how much it weighed, how much it glistened tantalisingly in the light, how many slices you could get out of it, maybe even how delicious it smelled. But you wouldn’t truly KNOW what it’s like until you got it in your pie-hole and down your gullet, amirite??

So, if you are picking up what I’m putting down with my clumsy analogy, it will be clear that I became a chocolate addict and lived happily ever after. Whoops! I mean I learnt how to not just observe and witness the “cake”, I could now fully *experience* it.

But, it took awhile. As in years of self-directed learning, embodied practice, bodywork, energy work, energy healing and channeling light codes and higher dimensional wisdom. And often times, there would be loud internal pleas to GIVE UP. To let the veil of ignorance try and settle back over me so I could just happily stick to my 9-to-5 and only look forward to the weekends and only believe that what existed was in the third dimension and all of the MAGIC of the higher dimensions was all in my crazy delusional head. I wanted to tuck my witchy self away, banish her from my life because what she demanded from me was not convenient, goddamit. Sometimes it was all too freaking exhausting.

I know this is supposed to be the part where I say it was all worth it. And yes to a point it was. But if I’d been able to have someone there to gently hold me and coax me through the incredible highs and lows of this journey, I would have said SIGN ME UP, BABY.

And this is the reason why I created my exclusive 1:1 private spiritual mentoring programs, Goddess Awakening, and Mystic Awakening. I have crafted the steps, methods and processes to guide you through what I have painstakingly moved through. They’re packaged together to help you align with your light, dance with your darkness, and ultimately live as the light-filled goddess you are. I hold your hand through all of the upgrades, the shadow work, and the rocky but rewarding part of claiming your spiritual self that’s screaming to be seen and heard. What took me years, takes you mere months (pheeew!).

Embodying Your Light

What does anchoring and embodying your LIGHT actually do, for your life in the here and now? Well just for starters it:

– Ignites the knowing of your Soul’s passion and purpose. Once you’re alight baby, all of the nudges and insights drop in and your intuition fires into overdrive.
– Helps you feel completely present in your body and less in your head.
– Multiplies your manifesting mojo like a magic spell.
– Turns your side hustle into a soul business in record time.
– Shines you so brightly that your soul mate / soul tribe are going to magnetise towards you.
– Helps you drop those incessant negative thought loops. Hateful Negative Nancy toodles off into the sunset.
– Helps you relate to and fully understand the ‘new’ kids being birthed into our world. They are epically gifted but often misunderstood.
– Turns on and enhances your clair-abilities (clairvoyance, clair-audience, clair-cognisance, clair-sentience)

And guess what?! I’m opening the doors of my highly transformative mentorship program for you right now! If you’ve been nodding along in agreement and recognition that this is what your soul is yearning for, drop me a line at carly@carlystephan.com to apply for one of (only) TWO spots I have available. I’m excited to chat to you!

…..

So… back to me on the floor in our Kathmandu apartment, desperately anxious at having maybe lost my embodied light. 

My intuition said – ‘Absolutely not. You’re transforming and having a clean out. This is all in service of your spiritual ascension and you just need to tuck yourself up in bed with your crystals, lie in shivasana and INTEGRATE.’ My mind responds with, ‘Hmmm I don’t totally buy that. How about we freak out a little more?’ 

My intuition won against my tired mind, and I hopped into bed, surrounded by crystals and sacred talismans, lay in shivasana and began calling my soul back into its’ light anchors – while being completely present with the numbness I felt. I didn’t distract, obfuscate, or panic (excessively). I consciously connected and focused on each of my energy points, encouraging them to help with the anchoring.

By the next morning I began to feel the glimmer of my light body within me again. It took a few more days to feel that familiar sense of connection, and embodied light energy coursing through my body, but it came back.

To say I was relieved is an understatement. I am thankful for its presence and luminosity every day.

 

To find out a bit more about my 1:1 private mentoring – CLICK HERE. I look forward to hearing from you!

There are also some pretty sweet bonuses only available for you, only until Friday March 10:

– 1 x Archer Mala Beads Crystal Mala Necklace of your choice!
– 5 x spiritual practice / personal growth-oriented books chosen together and fully paid for, sent straight to you to support your journey!
– 1 x Automatic access to my group coaching program The Fulfilled Feminine Formula – and unlimited access to live rounds!
– 1 x Light Activation session with me to gift to anyone you wish!

EXTRA VALUE = $720.

Do you know someone who would like to read this? I’d so love if you’d share it! Thank you!

The Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio

12/7/2016

Want an instant energetic upgrade?

Last week I did a ‘soft launch’ + share of my Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio, which I’ve recorded for week two of The Fulfilled Feminine Formula.

And these are just some of the words used to describe how my ladies felt after listening to it:

“Beyond Luminous”
“Awesome”
“Fantastic”
“Stunning”
“I loved this Activation Audio!”
“LOVE IT SO MUCH!”

Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio
This audio is part of week two’s module of The Fulfilled Feminine Formula – ACTIVATE. This is the week where we activate and begin to embody the sacred feminine within us – think tips, rituals and practices for getting juicy and rejuvenating feminine energy flowing through us. YUMBO.

It was going to only be available for members of my course – but I’ve decided that for a SUPER LIMITED time (seriously, only for another week you guys), the audio is available to download for ANYONE keen tohave an instant energetic upgrade.

She’s kinda magical, if I say so myself.

This activation audio is designed to:

  • Align you with your highest potential and timeline
  • Help you channel cosmic light
  • Open your heart portal
  • Shower you with divine light codes and higher dimensional goodness; and
  • Activate your internal goddess nature

I hope you enjoy your audio! Here’s to those juicy awesome vibes of yours.

 

 

Five ways to move from your head to your heart

18/3/2016

You may have heard the term ‘live from your heart’ or ‘drop into your heart space’ bandied about before, but why on earth would we want to do that? And how do we go about dropping in, really? In this video I’m chatting about just that, woohoo! I’ve covered off on why it’s something you may like to try – and also give you five practices to begin living your life from your heart centre – straight away.

5 Ways to Move From Your Head to your Heart

After many years of living from my head, and not even realising how dis-embodied I was, a few years ago I discovered there’s another way of living in this world – one that’s richer, fuller, more energetically potent, and helps me tap in to a wellspring of juicy inspiration and universal wisdom. And thus began the journey from my head to my heart. It’s a journey fraught with much resistance, frustration and the need for persistence – but if you stick with it, you’ll find it’s one of the BEST journeys you will make for your spiritual health.

Remember, living in and from your heart space takes practice and time, this is not an overnight thing. Our society has conditioned us to give primacy to head-based decision making, and rarely emphasises the wisdom and intelligence that comes from our heart space.

Just like exercising a muscle to make it stronger, ‘feeling into’ your heart space may feel difficult at first. But the more you do it, and bring a conscious awareness to the choice you have to live from here, the easier and more natural it will become.

I’d love to hear what you think, below! Will you try any of these suggestions? Do you engage with heart-centred practices already? I’d love to know what they are. Biggest love xox


Are you a woman who is ready to live her most exalted life? With an elevated vibration, complete connection, radiating your potency out in to the world? Where heart-based living, soul-nourishing support, high-vibing spirituality and juicy feminine practices become part of your normal?

If your heart leaps at the sound of this (even slightly!) click on over here to find out more about my private 1:1 spiritual mentoring. I’m opening up a *teeny tiny* few spots for a handful of women for a very short period of time.

If you’re picking up what I’m putting down, I would LOVE to work with you!

Come on over and subscribe to my YouTube channel!

Thrilling Me! The Unicorn Project, The Magical Art of Tidying, Raw Beauty Studio, Esoteric Acupuncture

18/9/2015

Dropping in today with an instalment of Thrilling Me! A few little tidbits of what’s been floating my boat lately, and I think may do just the same for you. Sending you big love and smooches from rainy, sunny, rainy Brisbane.

The Unicorn Project

My super talented friend Jo from The Darling Tree initiated The Unicorn Project for the month of September and I cannot sing its praises enough. It’s all about taking small steps towards your ‘Unicorn’ Project (the dream project/s that you most want to work on, create, start, but never prioritise) every day – and staying accountable to yourself, all while being supported by Jo’s daily emails.

My Unicorn projects include: my book and some small word count towards it, daily; finishing my new eBook opt-in for my mailing list subscribers (are you on the list?); setting up my YouTube channel – and doing a few videos. It sounds like a lot (on top of a busy full time workload) but I’ve loved it! Not only am I keeping up with my small and manageable goals (which add up to a substantial size so quickly) but it’s got my creative juices flowing for a heap of other ideas too.

UP

The best thing is that as part of the project it’s totally mandatory to have a big fat juicy reward if you make progress towards your Unicorn goal/s every day of the month. After much deliberation, I’ve decided that my goal achievement reward is going to be a beautiful new set of sheets and doona cover from Yo Home – an eco-friendly bedding company based here in Brisbane. Hello delectable new bamboo cotton sheets!

If Unicorning seems like something up your alley – be sure to join Jo’s next round in November (I’ll definitely be on the Unicorn train again) by signing up to her mailing list. Registration for November opens on October 26. Happy Unicorning!

The Magical Art of Tidying

Marie Kondo has revolutionised the way I tidy my house. Seriously. I do not use the term revolutionised lightly here – she is a maven at getting your space organised using her methods (the KonMari method) and quirky wisdom in her book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It’s a super easy and quick read, so you don’t end up delaying the tidying for ages while trying to make your way through the book.

MK

Marie’s book left me wanting to get started right away, and I’ve been steadily working my way through my place ever since. The most helpful tip I got from the book was undoubtedly Marie’s method for how to decide what to keep and what to throw away. Whereas I used to judge whether to keep something based on IF one day (some day) I may use it again, Marie urges you to feel whether that object brings you joy. If it doesn’t – or indeed does the opposite – it’s out. This has been such a useful method for me. I’ve finally recycled the 20 or so plastic takeaway containers I had piling up in my laundry…

There are a few fantastic YouTube clips I highly recommend you use to accompany the book – I’ve particularly enjoyed the ones by YouTuber Lavendaire, who covers off on the KonMari methods of folding clothes and organising your wardrobe.

Raw Beauty Studio

As part of embodying goddess energy (which is one of my core desired feelings) I’ve committed to regular pampering and treatment appointments across a spectrum of bodily delights. And facials are one of them. I went to see Lauren at Raw Beauty Studio on the Gold Coast a few weeks ago and was completely blown away by her level of service and skill as a beautician, and her in depth knowledge of the body’s energy system, our chakras. All of which she incorporates in to her heavenly treatments.

Lauren is a mystic’s delight, and even if you aren’t so much in to the esoteric, Lauren’s intuitive sense of exactly what you need when you walk in to her studio is so spot on. One thing’s for sure – you’ll be floating, not walking, back out of her studio on cloud nine.

Esoteric Acupuncture

Trent Banyan‘s name had been floating around my field of awareness for a few months before I finally booked in for an appointment with him at Soul Space recently. Trent is a gifted healer and acupuncturist – who takes this whole healing art to the next level and beyond.

Esoteric acupuncture uses a combination of very fine needles (or even just a selenite wand – no needles required), placed in sacred geometric patterns on your body, and incorporates sound therapy – tuning forks that resonate to specific energy centres on your body.

TB

One of the most interesting parts of the treatment I recently had was when Trent used a tuning fork near my right ear, and the sound was exactly the tone I’ve been hearing every so often in that ear, randomly (this is part and parcel of increasing clairaudience – hearing higher vibrational frequencies – which I’m adjusting to) . When I asked Trent what that tone was, he told me it was the frequency of the heart. Cue me melting just a little bit – I’m hearing heart frequency! YAAAS!

I’ve already booked in for my next appointment…

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a thumbs up using the social media share buttons below – or pass it on to someone you think may also enjoy! Many thanks and love. xox

Are these feelings mine? Five tips for empaths.

10/8/2015

A few weeks ago, I had an experience that filled me with fear.

I was standing in the middle of a field in the Sunshine Coast hinterland on the night of a new moon. While driving to our cabin, I couldn’t resist staring at the epic star-scape through the windshield. My friend and I decided to pull over to the side of the road to fully immerse ourselves in the glorious expanse of this velvety night sky, bejewelled with stars scattered from horizon to horizon. The air was crisp and the beautiful Aussie bush was making its night time noises. It was breathtakingly epic. I was in my element. Pure joy. I could even (much to my surprise) see connection lines drawn in the sky between certain stars, which appeared to be constellations, but I’m not sure. Odd I know, but more on me seeing unseen things in another post.

Night sky1

It happened pretty much as soon as I stepped out of the car and walked a few paces. My body was consumed with what I can only describe as full-blown-chilled-to-the-bone existential fear. I tried to ignore it at first. The sky was so mesmerisingly beautiful, I wanted to soak it all in completely. But after awhile I felt my chest tighten. My stomach dropped. My breaths began getting shorter. I started to shiver, and my teeth began to chatter (it wasn’t that cold). All of which are the physical signs of fear. It felt as though I was being watched or chased – but neither of these things were happening to me. I tried to remember the last time I had felt such an awful sensation of fear, but couldn’t recall.

It was my friend who brought it up first. She said, “I’m feeling really f*cking frightened”. “ME TOO!”, I responded. “What do you think it is?”. She replied that maybe it had something to do with what we’d been talking about – reclaiming the goddess, witchy rituals, mysticism, the unseen, cosmic stuff. She figured maybe she was scared of it. That while this was all perfectly normal conversation for me, she had only just begun to acknowledge that side of herself again, after many years devoted to zen Buddhism. This was all quite plausible.

But my feeling of fear made NO SENSE. I was in a beautiful part of the Australian bush, looking up at a stunning starry night sky. I wouldn’t hesitate to pull over by myself, sit on the bonnet and stargaze for as long as I wanted, in any circumstance. So in the absence of any physically evident threat, my fear was really curious for me.

“Okay, so maybe I’m picking up on your fear.” I said. As an empath this happens for me all the time. I’ve had to work pretty hard to create healthy boundaries for my energy field. We described what we were feeling in our bodies to one another, and it was exactly the same. So we both decided that yes, maybe I was feeling her fear. We continued to chat through our respective feelings of fear, staring up at the night sky discussing new moon and full moon rituals, and how challenging it can be to dive in to the divine feminine aspects of ourselves.

All through the chatter I kept on wanting to run back to the car, slam the doors shut, lock them, and race off. But something kept me there – a stubborn part of me that wanted to learn what it was like to feel a fear so great, but know that it wasn’t mine. I knew this would be useful to me in the long run. After awhile (maybe about 15 minutes), I couldn’t take it any longer and I started to think, “What if there IS something threatening I’m picking up on and I really need to get my ass out of here?”. So we got back in to the car and I locked the doors, quicker than you can say, ‘stop being an idiot and get going’. I sped off to the cabin which was only about two minutes away.

It took both of us a few hours to calm down afterwards.

Regaling a couple of my highly intuitive friends about this in the following few days, both of them (separately), said it was the land. That we were both picking up on a trauma connected to the land, which is where this feeling of fear emanated from. What it was, I have no idea. But that I know it wasn’t my feeling is 100% truth.

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Are you acutely sensitive to the emotions and feelings of others? If so, it’s likely you’re an empath too. And it’s a GIFT. Truly – so long as you can manage and utilise it effectively, without it becoming personally debilitating. I’ve collated a list of tips especially for you, to help you deal with the times you feel overwhelmed by feelings, and are not 100% sure they’re yours:

Follow its tail

With this method I like to envision grabbing hold of ‘the tail’ of the feeling, and following it up to its head, which for me is the thought, reason, or circumstance that may be causing this feeling within me. So taking the above example, I could grab hold of the fear by its tail, and follow it – which I did – but I never found its head (circumstance / reason) residing within me. It was external to me. There was nothing to identify with. However, say if I regularly feel anxious about getting outside of my car at night; feeling fear and following its tail would lead me to my long-standing anxiety, and I would know that fear is mine. And I would likely not step outside the car, in respect of this boundary I know I have.

This isn’t mine

If you know the fear (or feeling) is not yours, declare it. Affirm to yourself that it isn’t, and anchor yourself in the truth of how you actually feel. This feels like ‘feeling in to’ the power centre within your body, which for me is around the womb/sacral area. Maybe for you it’s your heart area. I actively draw my energy in and feel it ‘land’ back there. A few deep breaths in to your power centre area also helps. Once you are clear this is not your feeling, and affirm it as such – you should begin to feel its clasp around you diminish and feel far less intense.

If the feeling doesn’t leave you, then it is likely something meant for you to own and integrate in to your being. That means it’s coming forward to be released within you (this is GOOD!). Face this feeling and ask it what it’s trying to tell you. Journal with it, dialogue with it. Get a spiritual mentor to help you see what’s trying to come forth to be released. It may be a shadow aspect of you that needs to be integrated.

Solar plexus strengthening and healthy chakras in general

When you find yourself regularly overwhelmed by the energy of others, it’s highly likely that your solar plexus chakra needs some strengthening. This is your third chakra / energy centre and is situated around the stomach area. It’s yellow, so envisioning this area surrounded by yellow, helps to cleanse and strengthen it. Eat yellow food (lemons, anyone?), wear yellow clothes. Doing things that help solidify your confidence and standing up for yourself, also helps.

As empaths we need to watch our energetic vibrations really closely, as we will very easily draw in a match to the energetic vibration within us. My favourite way to support my energy is via my chakras using reiki, bodywork healing and chakra cleanse meditations.

Set up some healthy boundaries

As empaths we’re used to running our energy beyond our own immediate energy fields (i.e. far beyond our body). We ‘feel’ in to other people’s energy systems, and in to the energy of animals, houses and land (anything really). Basically we can often do this without realising. This can cause energy leaks – and diminishes our capacity to hold our own energy field in integrity.

Now that you know you have the tendency to do this, it’s time to recognise when you feel your energy running away, and reel it back in. Call the parts of you that are wandering around the joint, back to you. You can do this very simply by commanding it. Become very present and say, ‘I command all of my energy to come entirely back to me’ or something to that effect.

This isn’t about ‘protection’ so much as learning how to regulate your own tendency to let your energy leak. I don’t advocate trying to ‘protect’ our energy fields, because energetically when we intend to protect ourselves from something, we automatically create something we need to be protected from. Learning to cultivate healthy energetic boundaries strengthens your energy field and helps you feel less ‘exposed’.

Empaths need quiet alone time

People who identify as empathic need regular alone time. It can become highly confusing for an empath to know who they really are and what their own energy signature feels like, when they’re constantly surrounded by the energy signatures of other beings. (Just quietly, I’m convinced there’s a significant correlation between those who identify as introverted, and those who are empathic.) Set an intention to know really deeply who you are, so you can differentiate what belongs to you and what doesn’t. Where you end and others begin.

So if you identify as empathic, you need to carve out regular alone time, stat. Create a space within your home that is just for you, that you can retreat to whenever you need. Ask not to be disturbed for xx minutes or hours. Cultivate a portion of your day to sit in quiet meditation or contemplation, alone. Schedule solo dates with yourself, far from the maddening crowds. Or maybe even a solo soul retreat? I know, Mama friends. This may be extremely tough for you to swing. But hopefully you have support that can help you get some much needed alone time every so often. (Or at least a few quiet minutes in the shower!)

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Being empathic is a gift. But it can also be confusing, and cause us to take on things that simply aren’t ours to take on. Taking steps to recognise when a feeling is or isn’t ours is one of the most useful things we can do in the name of empath self-care. Because we (and the world at large) can truly benefit from this extra-sensory gift tremendously – if we know how to handle and work with it effectively.

How about you? Do you identify as an empath? How do you deal with feelings that aren’t yours? I’d love to hear your tips and tricks below.

If you enjoyed this post, please give it the thumbs up using the social media sharing buttons below! And if you know someone who would enjoy this, please send it through to them. Thanks, loveliest one. xox

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