Nailing my Core Desired Feelings


This year I’m being guided by my feelings. My core desired feelings to be precise – a term I’ve mentioned here previously, and espoused by the enigmatic Danielle LaPorte through her multi-format, blow-your-mind-it’s-so-cool platform known as the Desire Map.

And I’m well and truly thrilled to have landed on my core desired feelings for this year/next period of my life. Core desired feelings needn’t be set in stone. They’re here to serve me for as long as I resonate with them. They may shape shift, change, roll around a few times and come full circle. But for now they’re settled.

A big reason for this settling is my recent soul-sister mastermind retreat. Where do I even begin to describe the utter love, affection and admiration I have for these women in my life? There aren’t really sufficient words, but my heart was full to bursting after our weekend in the NSW hinterland.


With these ladies I feel completely seen. In all of my imperfections and in all of my greatness. When we’re together everything is stripped back to genuine soulful and heart-centred connection. No bullsh*t frou frou is necessary, no need for extended small talk, it’s all soul and truth and passion and ‘what is actually going on, sister?’ up in our group.

We are free to bare our souls, cry, laugh hysterically, share our fears. All while being held in a space of complete and utter loving acceptance of who we are and what our truth is. Can I get a freakin’ amen to this?

During our retreat, my darling soul sister Emma led us through a process which not only got to the core of what we wanted to feel, but also helped to deeply embed them in to our awareness. Going in to the weekend we all thought we had our core desired feelings sorted, and shared them with everyone. But by the end of the weekend, we’d all either changed our words completely, or made way for a couple of extra words. It was a crucial step that most of us had missed in the Desire Mapping process, and that we all agree needs to be facilitated by someone else, and not just by ourselves.

It involves asking (of the Core Desired Feelings you’ve identified):

  • What does it sound like?
  • What does it smell like?
  • What does it look like?
  • What does it taste like?
  • What does it feel like?

Through this process my core desired feelings were transformed from:

Connected, Abundant, Vibrant, Shakti, Bliss to:

Atma, Ecstatic, Vibrant, Shakti, Bliss. Pretty high vibin’ wouldn’t you say?


Here’s an example of how I got to ATMA. I knew that Connected wasn’t quite anchoring the feeling for me, so with the help of Emma and the girls (we all held space for one another to do the process with each of our words) I just closed my eyes, felt the feeling and started rapid firing in response to Emma’s question prompts. Note that this is all stream of consciousness and the words don’t necessarily match what’s been asked. This is okay.

Sounds like: The finest vibration rippling around the world and universe that everyone can feel but not everyone feels it. A vibration in everyone and everything. A really fine ‘ding’ that goes on forever, like a frequency.

Smells like: Moss, nature, earth. A newborn baby’s head. The embrace of a lover or loved one. Their closeness. Like a hug.

Looks like: Eyes connecting with a kindred spirit. Knowingness. Holding hands. Connection. Understanding. Being in union, unity of people, plant, spirit. Joyous conversation at a soul level. Souls connecting. Recognising one another.

Tastes like: Home cooked meals, full of love and care. Sunlight. Water. Fire. Earth.

Feels like: Being plugged in. Earthed. Rooted. Above and below, right and left, all around. Safe. Oneness. Atma. Consciousness. A thought. A comforting thrum. Connection and union and unity. Infinite. Eternal. The essential nature of all that is. Melting in to infinity.

And after all of that, the word that truly encapsulated the feeling that I wanted to feel was ATMA: the universal light of lights that connects all beings. I want to feel Atma coursing through me, between me and others, and in everything that I do.

To further anchor each feeling, ask these questions for each word: ‘In order to feel this way, what would I do, what would I have, what would I experience?’ Then write yourself a list for each. Update it as often as you can.

I’m using Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map Day Planner to do these exercises, every week, to ensure I’m embodying each feeling in to my daily life.

It’s taken me a little while to get to writing this post, because the process we went through at our retreat was a game-changer. It was all so revelatory that it literally lifted me up, spun me around, and placed me back down in a place I’ve never been before. So it’s in to this space that I’ve been settling.

Striking out in to this year being led by feelings is so foreign to me because I am a planner. An organiser. A doer. I get sh*t done, tick lists, manage, deliver, and thrive on the cult of busy. Give me a goal or something to achieve and by golly I will find my way there by hook or by crook, or nearly maim myself trying.

But this year, no more. This year I’m falling more in to alignment with my energy, my soul, and soul purpose. And this requires me to let my soul lead the way.

This year is about loosening my grip. Creating space for the universe to jump in and do its magic. I know it does if I just let it. Being led less by my wanting to achieve something external in order to feel a desired feeling internally, and instead knowing how I want to feel, cultivating it for myself whenever I want, and then seeing whether my external goals, activities (and even day-to-day choices) are in support of those core desired feelings.

Have you engaged with the desire mapping process? If so, how are you settling in to your core desired feelings? I’d love to know what they are, please share below!


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