The Woman On The Plane


Our plane had just landed in verdantly tropical Colombo, Sri Lanka, during the dwindling days of December 2016.

Striding up the aerobridge, I could feel the steaming blanket of humidity settling onto my skin already, my chambray denim shirt itched to be taken off. I reached up to firmly pat my Panama hat on my messy mop of hair to ensure it didn’t fall off in the throng of exiting passengers.

I looked down at the shininess of my freshly-painted red toenails and chuckled at the ghostly whiteness of my be-shorted legs.

We had six days in this beautiful country, traversing the coast and the interior – seaside time and tea-country time and culture and sacred spiritual sites were all on the agenda. And birthday celebrations for me, too!

We were champing at the bit to make our way down the coast, with a lunchtime meeting to make in town before we began our taxi and bus ride to our first stop, the seaside fort town of Galle.

We exited the aero-bridge and looking for the shortest immigration line when a lady sidled up to my left.”Excuse me, can I speak you for a moment?” (Her English was limited.)

”Excuse me, can I speak you for a moment?” (Her English was limited.)

I looked at her face and recognised she was the woman who had been sitting to my right during our flight here from Singapore.

We’d struck plane seat GOLD being shoved into the two centre seats of a four-seat block in economy. Luckily I had Osho to read and a few episodes of Modern Family to tide me over for the three and a half hour trip.

“Sure, absolutely, what did you want to chat about?” I asked her, pausing briefly.

“Please, I wish to speak to you for a moment. Can we please sit down over there? Are you upset or angry, did I do something to make you upset?”

I could empathically feel her energy body knotted in tension and anxiety. Cloying as closely to me as the dense humid air.

Flabbergasted, I assured her that there was absolutely nothing wrong, nor did she do anything to make me upset. I said, of course, we could chat, but could we please walk towards immigration at the same time – we were in a rush.

Matt and I began to stride on, and she kept up. In her broken English a tumble of words and statements came out, “I was hurt, I am hurt, upset. How old are you? I’m 38.”

I looked at her quizzically and firmly said to her that I truly had no idea what she could be referring to and that we really had to keep going.

She began pointing to a row of seats to the left, 20 metres away, gesturing and insisting that we go and sit down and ‘have a talk’.

I had NO IDEA what she could be referring to.

From what I could remember, she’d spent most of the flight asleep, or with her eyes closed.

I wracked my brain to try and remember what interaction we’d had, if any, during that short flight.

All I could recall was her accidentally bumping my headphone jack in the armrest, which she apologised for. I said, ’no worries’, and adjusted it back into its slot.

That was it.

The one time I needed to go the bathroom, Matt and I got up together and had asked the lady sitting next to him to move as she was awake and we didn’t want to disturb the sleeping lady to my right.

But it appeared that perhaps instead of sleeping or resting, she was actually mentally tying herself up in knots over something I had either done or not done.

So much so that she felt concerned and insulted enough to approach me, a complete stranger, to raise.

The painful place she must have been in, to feel called to read into a situation like this as she did, is hard to fathom.

We left her side to join the shortest immigration line we could find. Within a few minutes, we were out and collecting our bags from the carousel, ready to dive into colourful Sri Lanka and get some food in our bellies.

I furtively scanned the arrival hall for the woman, a little fearful of being accosted again, and still feeling her nervy sel hanging around my energy field.

We didn’t see her again.


The thought of her, and the pain she was in, however, hung on to me for a few days. It was haunting.

And after tossing it around in my head, and feeling into my body about exactly what was so haunting about the incident – I finally hit upon the reason.

I’ve been that woman on the plane.

The woman who is so painfully aware of what others MAY think or feel about me – that I projected my fears of inadequacy and rejection on to them.

The woman who lived her life so tuned into the cues of rejection or disapproval, tying myself in knots and stepping on eggshells to please ALL OF THE PEOPLE.

I recalled how many (MANY) years I’d spent doing the exact same tiresome mental acrobatics that she’d done, torturing myself and taking up precious mind space, over-analysing EVERYTHING TO THE MAX. Taking so many things personally, and being so hypersensitive to the actions (or lack thereof, of everyone).

And gosh, it seriously sucks.

And just like that, WHOOOOSH. Utter compassion for the woman on the plane came rushing in and is still with me now.

Lovely one, if you currently find yourself in the same position, and can relate to the torturous mental acrobatics situation I’ve just described, I have this for you:

+ You have permission to disentangle yourself from the knots you keep mentally tying yourself in.

+ You have permission to put down the heavy load of responsibility you feel for other’s actions.

+ You have permission to live the life you feel impassioned and juicy about, and not put off your dreams to satisfy the expectations of others

+ You have permission to be responsible for YOUR energy and life – and not other people’s.

+ You have permission to be yourself, and not hem yourself in for the comfort of others.

AND I have something for you.

The next round of The Fulfilled Feminine Formula, my signature 5-week group coaching program, is here! 

I’ve distilled all I’ve learned in the realm of untying myself from the knots of anxiety and depleted living and diving into a fulfilled life into FIVE core modules: Awaken, Activate, Align, Ascend and Assimilate.

You get to journey within yourself while holding the hands of soul sisters who are on the exact same journey.

If tapping into your potency, discovering your limitless depths, and awakening to the yearnings of your soul is something you would LOVE. Hop on board NOW.

Early bird pricing means you save over $80 on the full price.

AND, if you’re one of the first three ladies to say YES get a free 30-minute Activate Session with me, to help raise your frequency and vibration! YAAASS.


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