What Watching The Bachelor in Paradise Did to Me (P.S It’s not good).


The other day I booked a leg waxing appointment in between clients.

My waxing lady, Bel, has a home studio a few streets away from where we live. A 20-minute walk in the searing sun (and a layer of perspiration) later, I stepped into the oasis of her crisply air-conditioned studio and made myself comfortable on the massage table, lying back on the towel-covered surface.

My gaze was drawn to the blaring television perched in the corner of the room, where a gaggle of glamorous and tanned people were moaning about their romantic crushes (or lack thereof).

“Bachelor in Paradise…” Bel sighed, as she slathered my legs in wax. “It’s pretty fascinating and screwed up.” (For those residing outside Australia / or don’t watch reality tv, this show is about a bunch of singles in a tropical paradise trying to ‘find love’ but largely end up getting screwed over.)

I ‘mmmhmmmed’ in agreement, feigning slight understanding of a show I don’t watch, while knowing full well that now was not the time to launch a diatribe about the downfall of our civilisation and the increasing influence of ‘reality’ television in our society.

I tried to relax, inasmuch as one can while having hairs ripped from their roots, repeatedly.

But my attention kept being drawn to the drama on television.

A blonde woman was telling various men she didn’t feel chemistry with them (as far as I could tell). There was much discussion about what constitutes chemistry and she leaned on the term ‘sparkles’. If the sparkles weren’t there, it just wasn’t right. Fascinating.

Try as I might to ignore it – chatting to Bel, feeling present to the pain on my legs, smelling the faintly floral scent of the wax – my attention kept on being drawn to the unfolding drama on the show.

I could literally feel my energy field beginning to be sucked in by it.

The lower mind, ego-centric, fear and scarcity-based perspective on love and relationships began to permeate my field. I tuned into the collective pain body of people who see this as ‘how things are’ and while many may watch it under the guise of pure entertainment, there is a part of them that is (often and perhaps unwittingly) influenced by it, which consequently helps perpetuate this story as an actual reality for many many people.

I wondered as I watched, how many people were entraining with these wobbly and limited love and relationship energy codes every week or day (who knows how often this show is on).

(That was a rhetorical question; if you know please don’t tell me.)

After I left my appointment, with my shiny now-hairless legs (okay HALF LEGS if you want me to be specific), my energetic field was SO WONKY. I had to dish out a bit of inner energetic mastery for myself, to reconfigure it back into a fifth-dimensional state.

That’s how influential watching only 10 or so minutes of this show was on me – someone who is really quite aware of what’s going on in her field almost all the time.

It dragged me right on down. By the time I got back home, I was almost back to normal for me.

But, all of this got me to thinking about the importance of being aware of WHOSE or WHAT codes we’re entraining with on a daily basis.

While of course we have our own codes circling in our fields, and can remain very present within our own energy fields – we exchange codes with anyone or anything we come into contact with. We enmesh our energetic fields with others and exchange codes ALL THE TIME.

We immerse ourselves in fields that will either help us expand and come into alignment with our higher / fifth-dimensional self OR drag us down into our lower dimensional, fear-based and limited self.

If we constantly hear the same fear-based story peddled over and over again: “there aren’t any decent men / women, money doesn’t grow on trees, in order to achieve in business or work you have to constantly be busy / burnt out” – of course that’s going to be the norm for us. OF COURSE. These are the codes we swim in, this is the reality we create.

I know this because I used to swim in these exact codes.

The stories of ‘no good men around’ stalked me for years, dragging me into the depths of despair, feeling like I was walking around with a big red sign on my head saying ‘SINGLE OVER 30, BETTER COME AND ASK ME IF I’VE MET ANY GOOD MEN LATELY. OR BETTER YET, ASK ME ABOUT MY TICKING BIOLOGICAL CLOCK! I LOVE THAT.’ – until I decided to give society’s psychotic perspective the flick and created my own reality where I was already whole, complete and amazing as is, AND there were PLENTY of amazing men around. And yes, I magnetised my soulmate love. (P.S There really are SO MANY amazing people around, REALLY).

Speaking of biological clock and age, how about flicking the idea of declining health or an aging appearance being compulsory as we get older. Instead, we get better and better. I’m more healthy than I’ve ever been, and I don’t have a strict health or exercise regime, besides eating and moving intuitively. We aren’t meant to age anywhere near as quickly as what our medical systems purport. And when we channel light energy through us on a daily basis, it’s like taking an anti-aging pill. I’m 36 and I’m far more healthy and fertile than I was in my 20s.

OR how about the codes of it being ‘extremely hard / impossible’ to leave my high flying career in international development and move into working full-time into my own soul work coaching business, while still being able to pay my mortgage and travel overseas with my man for eight months? The number of nay-sayers who tried to fill my field with fear over not having a salaried income and the difficulties of working while traveling were IMMENSE. I put my middle finger up to those codes too, immersed myself in the field of infinite possibilities, and went and DID IT.

We all KNOW when we’ve been dragged down into a lower dimension. We feel anxious feelings creeping in, scarcity mentality permeates our being, and we see and sense lack all around us.

We all KNOW when we’ve entrained with a higher dimension too. We feel elevated into the field of infinite possibilities, sure of our worth, limitless and expansively open.

So – how often do you feel the latter or the former?

Do you:

Want a conscious and loving romantic relationship – but instead, you’re wallowing in doubts about your worth and what’s possible for you?

Wish there was more financial abundance in your life, but you hang around in the energetic fields of those who bitch and moan about how little they have?

Want to transform your hobby or side hustle into a viable soul business, but you surround yourself with those who are dabbling or nay-saying the very possibility?


Being discerning of the energetic codes you allow yourself to entrain with, daily, is critical to the fruition of any kind of success you’re calling in.

Can you see how important this concept is?

It’s only as important as whatever you’re calling in – but hasn’t arrived yet.

Do you feel ready to say YES to your 5D life?

Ready to no longer faff around about your desires and dreams and actually step into the reality of it HAPPENING?

Then I have some codes for you! I have room in my 1:1 Private Mentoring Program for just *two* women who are seriously freaking ready.

Not just maybe. Definitely ready.

Email me (carly@carlystephan.com) or book yourself in for a complimentary call to apply.



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