Are you running your life on auto-pilot, defaulting to your masculine traits in your every day life? Residing entirely in your mind and being go-go-go and on-on-on all the time?
How long have you known that there MUST be more to life than manipulating all of the external conditions around you, to make you FEEL better inside?
You’ve spent so long getting the ‘ducks lined up’ (house, job, mortgage, partner/boyfriend/husband, children) thinking this was going to bring you that elusive joy, connection and sense of belonging. But there’s still a niggling emptiness within.
How long have you known that this is not the way you want to live?
For years this was me.
Society’s Metrics of Success
The metrics of success were defined for me by society and I was determined (by hook or by crook) to achieve them. I thought I had to have all my ducks lined up in a row – high-flying career, designer wardrobe, husband, children, house bought, annual holidays – y’know, the so-called SHEBANG.
I thought success meant masculine striving to achieve until I’d accomplished everything. Two undergraduate degrees, an honours degree and a masters degree – check. Fantastic job, travelling the world and doing work I love – check. Bought a brand new apartment and managed the mortgage on my own – check. Regular holidays to exotic locales – check.
As I went about doing this, I noticed that not only were these so-called trappings of success not making me feel all that was promised – joy, elation, ease, calm – insert synonyms for happiness here. I began to feel a yawning gap within me that just couldn’t be filled by this stuff.
I had achieved so much in my life – but didn’t FEEL any better. Any sense of of fulfilment was brief and fleeting, I was always on to ‘the next thing’ looking for the promised sense of relief or joy that was elusively around every corner.
What was I doing wrong?
I wondered what I was doing ‘wrong’ that I hadn’t yet met my romantic soul partner, not knowing whether I ever would.
I had a complete lack of connection to myself, my inner truth, suffered from crippling comparisionitis, over-analysing everything and living purely in my head.
Amidst all of this – the GO-GO-GO and comparisonitis – I noticed there was no juiciness, passion nor yummy feminine radiance. I was waking up early, getting ready on auto-pilot, commuting to work, working all day, coming home to eat dinner and binge-watch television ’till late, then going to bed exhausted. Rinse and repeat. Living entirely in my head – and thoroughly DISCONNECTED from my soul.
The pub on a Friday night always beckoned – full of empty promises and tall glasses of sauvignon blanc to help me stifle and ignore the longing for SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS.
It wasn’t until I realised my mind, body and soul was screaming for soulful, divinely feminine balance to my masculine-by-default nature, that I began to take my first tentative steps towards surrendering to the beauty and power of the feminine.
I was living ‘all up in my head’ and focused so externally, I didn’t even realise there was another way I could be in the world.
That living in an overtly masculine manner was actually a choice – and one I could learn to balance and opt out of if I wanted.
So I began to dive within, and surrender to the divine feminine within me. I began learning and incorporating rituals, practices and ways of being that ultimately reconnected me to my soul, balancing and integrating both the divine feminine and the divine masculine within me. And this was, frankly, revolutionary. Once we become conscious of our internal energy state – and align with our soul – we begin to see our external worlds respond in kind, with ease and grace.
I shifted from living in my head and driven entirely from the masculine, and into an embodied feminine state. I attracted a radiant tribe of supportive and loving soul sisters, conceived, created and birthed my soul work and passion into the world, activated my abundance, aligned with a romantic soul partner beyond my wildest dreams, and created a life of soulful connection and flow.