What Watching The Bachelor in Paradise Did to Me (P.S It’s not good).


The other day I booked a leg waxing appointment in between clients.

My waxing lady, Bel, has a home studio a few streets away from where we live. A 20-minute walk in the searing sun (and a layer of perspiration) later, I stepped into the oasis of her crisply air-conditioned studio and made myself comfortable on the massage table, lying back on the towel-covered surface.

My gaze was drawn to the blaring television perched in the corner of the room, where a gaggle of glamorous and tanned people were moaning about their romantic crushes (or lack thereof).

“Bachelor in Paradise…” Bel sighed, as she slathered my legs in wax. “It’s pretty fascinating and screwed up.” (For those residing outside Australia / or don’t watch reality tv, this show is about a bunch of singles in a tropical paradise trying to ‘find love’ but largely end up getting screwed over.)

I ‘mmmhmmmed’ in agreement, feigning slight understanding of a show I don’t watch, while knowing full well that now was not the time to launch a diatribe about the downfall of our civilisation and the increasing influence of ‘reality’ television in our society.

I tried to relax, inasmuch as one can while having hairs ripped from their roots, repeatedly.

But my attention kept being drawn to the drama on television.

A blonde woman was telling various men she didn’t feel chemistry with them (as far as I could tell). There was much discussion about what constitutes chemistry and she leaned on the term ‘sparkles’. If the sparkles weren’t there, it just wasn’t right. Fascinating.

Try as I might to ignore it – chatting to Bel, feeling present to the pain on my legs, smelling the faintly floral scent of the wax – my attention kept on being drawn to the unfolding drama on the show.

I could literally feel my energy field beginning to be sucked in by it.

The lower mind, ego-centric, fear and scarcity-based perspective on love and relationships began to permeate my field. I tuned into the collective pain body of people who see this as ‘how things are’ and while many may watch it under the guise of pure entertainment, there is a part of them that is (often and perhaps unwittingly) influenced by it, which consequently helps perpetuate this story as an actual reality for many many people.

I wondered as I watched, how many people were entraining with these wobbly and limited love and relationship energy codes every week or day (who knows how often this show is on).

(That was a rhetorical question; if you know please don’t tell me.)

After I left my appointment, with my shiny now-hairless legs (okay HALF LEGS if you want me to be specific), my energetic field was SO WONKY. I had to dish out a bit of inner energetic mastery for myself, to reconfigure it back into a fifth-dimensional state.

That’s how influential watching only 10 or so minutes of this show was on me – someone who is really quite aware of what’s going on in her field almost all the time.

It dragged me right on down. By the time I got back home, I was almost back to normal for me.

But, all of this got me to thinking about the importance of being aware of WHOSE or WHAT codes we’re entraining with on a daily basis.

While of course we have our own codes circling in our fields, and can remain very present within our own energy fields – we exchange codes with anyone or anything we come into contact with. We enmesh our energetic fields with others and exchange codes ALL THE TIME.

We immerse ourselves in fields that will either help us expand and come into alignment with our higher / fifth-dimensional self OR drag us down into our lower dimensional, fear-based and limited self.

If we constantly hear the same fear-based story peddled over and over again: “there aren’t any decent men / women, money doesn’t grow on trees, in order to achieve in business or work you have to constantly be busy / burnt out” – of course that’s going to be the norm for us. OF COURSE. These are the codes we swim in, this is the reality we create.

I know this because I used to swim in these exact codes.

The stories of ‘no good men around’ stalked me for years, dragging me into the depths of despair, feeling like I was walking around with a big red sign on my head saying ‘SINGLE OVER 30, BETTER COME AND ASK ME IF I’VE MET ANY GOOD MEN LATELY. OR BETTER YET, ASK ME ABOUT MY TICKING BIOLOGICAL CLOCK! I LOVE THAT.’ – until I decided to give society’s psychotic perspective the flick and created my own reality where I was already whole, complete and amazing as is, AND there were PLENTY of amazing men around. And yes, I magnetised my soulmate love. (P.S There really are SO MANY amazing people around, REALLY).

Speaking of biological clock and age, how about flicking the idea of declining health or an aging appearance being compulsory as we get older. Instead, we get better and better. I’m more healthy than I’ve ever been, and I don’t have a strict health or exercise regime, besides eating and moving intuitively. We aren’t meant to age anywhere near as quickly as what our medical systems purport. And when we channel light energy through us on a daily basis, it’s like taking an anti-aging pill. I’m 36 and I’m far more healthy and fertile than I was in my 20s.

OR how about the codes of it being ‘extremely hard / impossible’ to leave my high flying career in international development and move into working full-time into my own soul work coaching business, while still being able to pay my mortgage and travel overseas with my man for eight months? The number of nay-sayers who tried to fill my field with fear over not having a salaried income and the difficulties of working while traveling were IMMENSE. I put my middle finger up to those codes too, immersed myself in the field of infinite possibilities, and went and DID IT.

We all KNOW when we’ve been dragged down into a lower dimension. We feel anxious feelings creeping in, scarcity mentality permeates our being, and we see and sense lack all around us.

We all KNOW when we’ve entrained with a higher dimension too. We feel elevated into the field of infinite possibilities, sure of our worth, limitless and expansively open.

So – how often do you feel the latter or the former?

Do you:

Want a conscious and loving romantic relationship – but instead, you’re wallowing in doubts about your worth and what’s possible for you?

Wish there was more financial abundance in your life, but you hang around in the energetic fields of those who bitch and moan about how little they have?

Want to transform your hobby or side hustle into a viable soul business, but you surround yourself with those who are dabbling or nay-saying the very possibility?


Being discerning of the energetic codes you allow yourself to entrain with, daily, is critical to the fruition of any kind of success you’re calling in.

Can you see how important this concept is?

It’s only as important as whatever you’re calling in – but hasn’t arrived yet.

Do you feel ready to say YES to your 5D life?

Ready to no longer faff around about your desires and dreams and actually step into the reality of it HAPPENING?

Then I have some codes for you! I have room in my 1:1 Private Mentoring Program for just *two* women who are seriously freaking ready.

Not just maybe. Definitely ready.

Email me (carly@carlystephan.com) or book yourself in for a complimentary call to apply.


Who’s Sailing Your Ship?


It’s worth asking ourselves a few questions of reflection from time to time. First up – just how many ways are you tying yourself to the expectations placed on you by society, your family, your friends, or even the media?

Have you ever examined the things you do, or what you strive for in your life and truly explored whether this is something YOU really want or desire, deep within you?

Like the expectation that you need to be married by aged X, buy a house by age Y, or have kids by age Z? Are you striving to get all of the ducks lined up in a row, just so you can justify your existence here on earth?

We sometimes unwittingly attach ourselves to identities or goals because it’s ‘just something that everyone strives for’.

We tie ourselves to so many different masts, we have no idea who’s actually sailing OUR ship.

When this topic comes up in sessions with my clients, it’s often a shock for them to see how much of their self-view is set-up to be entirely externally-referenced, and based on the judgments and expectations of WHO WE ARE TO OTHERS.

We’re so used to shape-shifting to everyone else’s needs and expectations, that when we begin to explore what it means to live from more of an internal reference point, anchored deeply within ourselves, there’s actually a void there.

A void that as yet has not formed a knowing of what our truly soul-aligned desires are, or what this even feels like!

When we begin to ask questions like; Who am I (really)? And, What Do I Actually Want? We often draw a blank.

We may stumble upon a desire we’ve long held, only to find that upon a deeper exploration, it’s actually what our parents’ desired for us. Or what our Grade 8 teacher thought would be something amazing for us to do.

Doing the work to tune in, can feel a bit daunting at times. But when we do (and asking those questions above are one of the first steps), personal sovereignty is not too far down the track.

Stick with the questions, and bring the energy of curiosity, play, and discovery to what comes through as an answer.

How are you living your life today, beauty? Internally or externally referenced?

If you’d love a bit of hand-holding support to learn more about HOW to tune within yourself and excavate your sovereign desires, there are just 2 Single Session Specials (it’s super rare for me to have these) available at the moment – including resource notes AND 2 weeks of email support! Bargain. 



What Disenchantment Will Do To You


Losing your enchantment with life may seem inconsequential at first. And it may even BE inconsequential if it’s just a passing phase, and you have the tools and tricks to winch your way out of it.

The sneaky thing about disenchantment though, is that it’s a screwy little motherf*cker, who creeps into the crevices of your life, and before you know it – has you in its greasy vice-like grip, adding a wash of grey and disdain for everything to your existence. And my GOD is it tough to shake loose.

This past weekend, through a powerful process I was taken through by the amazing Marcela Widrig, I began to see the ways I’d allowed disenchantment to leak into me in the past little while.

It wasn’t until I was physically moving the pattern of ‘I don’t get to do what I want’ through my body (full of resentment, frustration and icky childhood huffiness), that I realised I’d recently been losing my grip on the magical life I’ve been cultivating.

Here are some of the signs and hallmarks that you too may be unsuspectingly squeezed by disenchantment.


  • You’ve become increasingly whiny and victim-y:  you’re really externally focused on what it is ‘outside’ of you that has made you feel this way
  • You’re retreating from life, and energetically withdrawing – making yourself small and unnoticeable
  • You’re fearful of staking your claim and taking up space in the world
  • You think you don’t matter
  • You feel like you cannot get what you want
  • Your boundaries are constantly being overstepped – first by you, and then by others. They’re also leaky, murky and permeable
  • You shy away from supportive decisions that you know will help you and your highest potential
  • You’re constantly seeking permission – from your spouse, friends, family. Sorry is a frequently used word in your vocabulary.

If any of these signs are calling you, holler! This is a freaking woeful state to be in, hey?

And it is time to begin making decisions that help you realise YOU ARE HERE in this magical life of yours and YOU MATTER.

Your experience of it ALSO MATTERS. The magic matters.

During this past weekend’s workshop, I danced the pattern of ‘not getting to do what I want’ through my body and cried the tears of frustration at myself for not having remained vigilant to the boundaries I was over-stepping, within myself.

I moved, cried and FELT it all until all I was left with was potent energy searing through my body.

The magic of being present with it, and feeling it all, brought me right back into my body – and SOOOO ready to take up space again.

I am also SO FREAKING glad to have done this during this week because it’s a cosmically powerful week to choose differently, change the story – and make the changes we want to see in our lives become manifest.

It’s the Lunar New Year and Solar Eclipse on Thursday, which will see the close of a super potent eclipse portal – between last month’s Super Blue Blood Red (with a cherry on top) Full Moon Eclipse and the upcoming Solar Eclipse this Thursday.

The cosmos is in full support of us GOING BIG – and make the decisions that are supportive of our wellbeing, vibrancy and juicy presence in the world.

Just start with one decision – if you found a hallmark of disenchantment in the list I wrote above. What ONE THING can you commit to or begin, that’s going to turn that sucker around, and have you feeling the MAGIC again?

Just one thing.

And lovely, if you want to work with a mentor and coach who will lovingly call you on your sh*t and keep you accountable to your enchantment and the searing bright light that you REALLY ARE  –  I have just two spots available in my private 1:1 mentoring program.

It’s a first in, best-dressed scenario.

Book in for a chat here or email me carly@carlystephan.com, and let’s dance this disenchantment right back to where it came from.

A Personal New Year Update


I closed out the final moments of last year in the crystal clear ocean of The Sandon, swimming, bobbing in, and riding the waves with some of my fave people in the world.

It was sunset on December 31st, 2017, and the golden light surrounding us was INCREDIBLE. It felt like we’d all been swept into some kind of alter-dimensional universe OR a Coca-Cola commercial, I couldn’t quite decide which.

We’d just waded our way back over from an island off the coast, where my ladies threw me a surprise birthday soiree in a sacred garden grove overlooking the aqua-coloured pacific ocean, replete with the most epic grazing platter and french champagne.

Stripping off our finery, we waded out into the water, as the nearly full super moon rose above the ocean.

Our collective joy was palpable, but I can only speak for myself when I say it was the stuff of dreams.

I’d been doing a weensy bit of reflecting that day, as many of us are wont to do on the final day of the calendar year, and/or our birthdays. For me, it’s a double whammy, and I tell ya there were many years where the energy of it all was just too much and I’d be guaranteed to bawl my eyes out at some point on new year’s eve.

I was reflecting on a year which really called me into my highest light and demanded I align publically with the truth of what I’m here to embody and teach, talk frankly about my Starseed experiences, and take on a role in our collective spiritual awakening that I’d never envisaged in my wildest dreams just a few short years ago.

My mission is clear. I want to inspire and guide you to open your energy channels to high-dimensional energy and deeply embody this light within, helping you ascend spiritually and allow your highest desires to manifest with ease.

I want YOU to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that YOU ARE THE LIGHT. And then FEEL this truth in your body radiating from your heart. And I want you to take your gifts and completely light up the world with them.

There are so many exciting things coming this year, and collectively there’s going to be an acceleration of energy again, which is ultimately awesome but temporarily provides some gnarly energetic waves to ride. So one thing I want to do is load you up with as much as I can to help you live the most magical life you can and make the most of these incoming waves of light. Think: videos, audios, PDF resources, more blog posts, speaking on stage, in-person events and workshops, more podcast interviews, group programs and a handful of 1:1 mentoring / coaching spots!

I have a newly gifted process (I cannot take full credit for this at all) and ‘technology’ that I’ve gradually channelled over the last year, from a cosmic collective who refer to themselves as the Arcturian / Sirian Alliance Council, which I’m so excited to see come to fruition (my Anchor Your Light babes are going to experience it first).

Your personal light grid activation helps increase your inner light quotient, and juices up all of your energy centres, amplifies your energetic radiance, increases your personal sovereignty (you connect to the galactic central sun, your original source) and allows you to experience your multi-dimensional nature. It does amazing things for your manifesting capacity and helps you download new templates to rewrite patterns that are no longer serving you, as well…

We are truly entering a golden age, in a broader galactic sense. The energetic movement of ascension demands that we reconnect to our divinity. And the universe is providing us with SO many resources (people, tools, techniques) to help us each remember and reclaim our divine-human nature, at this point in time. Not next life, this life.

The knowledge that we are source energy incarnated into earthly cosmic bodies is seeking to land deeply into the hearts of many on earth right now.

I really hope you let yourself bathe in the knowing of your own divine nature, beautiful. Or at least, that you’re ready to do so. Because that’s what’s coming at you!

Happy New Year, and huge smooches your way. Thank you SO MUCH for being here.

You’re more connected than you think. (The 4 Signs That Will Prove It To You.)


One thing I witness a lot of in my client sessions is the crippling doubt and fear of ‘I’m just not GIFTED in the art of energy and the ‘unseen’ realms, I don’t feel connected to any guidance, cosmic beings, or universal force, I’ve been left behind in the gift-giving stakes.’

Well, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that… I would have a LOT of dollars.

Y’see, as women, we often have a tendency to be uber harsh and underestimate our abilities. A throwback to shame over being too big for our boots, or trying to remain humble, or wanting to maintain a self-deprecating air.

I get it, these are common stories we’re fed through societal conditioning and it becomes a part of the very fabric of our being.

And so, we dismiss the evidence of our connected state, in favour of erring on the side of having no gifts in the realm of the ‘unseen’.

But I’d like to look you right in the eye across these inter-webs and kindly but firmly call BOLLOCKS on this story.

YOU ARE MORE CONNECTED than you’ve been conditioned to think. AND you can increase and improve on that connection, building your skills over time. This is not just a realm for the so-called gifted.

Humans are designed to have FULL clair-abilities open AND a connection to their higher dimensional guides, with access to infinite wisdom. Yes, including you.

So, how do you know you are connected already?

Well, I’ve compiled four hallmarks that I know women often dismiss outright but are actually extremely compelling signs you are super connected already:

  • You have the ability to walk into a room and ‘sense’ what’s going on. You feel people’s emotional states keenly in your body. You often have sensations that pop into your body randomly, and you have no idea why or for what reason. (You are literally ‘reading’ energy with your body. It’s a way for you to determine whether a space is safe or not, and is something you likely developed as a child. This is a clear sign that you have a clair-sentient ability, or clear-feeling. You’re also likely an empath and highly sensitive.)
  • You have dreams that you can recall and you often feel like you’re living in them. Sometimes you wake up exhausted! (This is proof of your ability to traverse and be aware of the astral realm, or 4th dimension. You are actually doing a lot of ‘work’ during this time. This is also a good indication of burgeoning clairvoyant ability, or clear-seeing.)
  • Random ‘thoughts’ pop into your head that are often filled with simple and profound wisdom, or remind you of something you may have forgotten. (Our guides can and do feel like us. What we think are ALL our thoughts, often aren’t. Yep, you’re receiving guidance. And you clearly have some clair-cognizant ability, or clear-thinking.)
  • You sometimes hear strange pitches or tones in your ears. It can feel a bit disorienting, and when you ask others if they can hear it, they respond with a no. (These are often indications you’ve shifted dimensions or timelines. It can also be an indication that your guides are sending you a sign or a package of wisdom for you to receive. This is also a sign of your emerging clair-audient abilities, or clear hearing.

So, how did you go? Can you see yourself in any of these examples? Yes? Thought so.

You ARE more connected than you think, lovely, and you can build on these abilities.

Just like you can exercise your physical body and achieve an increased level of fitness, the more you expose yourself to the world of energetic ascension and the gifts of reading energy that are your BIRTHRIGHT, the more these skills will develop.

But you need to want to do it. You need to set the intention and put the wheels in motion to commit to your own energetic ascension. When you say yes, the universe says YESSSS.

And if you want to do that, book in for a chat with me about my upcoming Anchor Your Light program.

I know you may be dismissing this program as something that may be out of your reach, or that you’re not advanced enough yet (please stop that).

I challenge you to reach out to me and actually stand for the abilities and connection you DO already have, and state the commitment that you have to build on them, and finally claim your energetic ascension as YOUR sovereign responsibility.

I think you’ll be very pleasantly surprised at the results.

To infinity and beyond, hey?

Book in for your chat here!

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