The Hidden Gold of 2020

I ate Christmas Cookies for dinner last night. Washed down with a warm earl grey with oat milk. There was nothing remotely redeeming about these cookies either – other than that the sugar, butter and eggs were definitely organic. I have no regrets (because it was exactly what I felt like eating) besides: whoopsie there won’t be as many cookies to bring over for Christmas celebre, Mama

I share this, not just because they are the most simple delicious lemony-buttery bundles of yum that are still taunting me on the kitchen bench, but they’re providing me with a useful little writing device to sum up 2020: the allegory of: it didn’t turn out quite how we planned (there are a lot of healthier options in my fridge…), it could have been better (protein! veggies!), but sheesh we’re gonna look for the silver linings wherever we can (SOME organic ingredients and so so yummy!).

Most of us can agree that there was a lot about 2020 that belongs in a very large binfire – including the words unprecedented, never-seen-before, and President Donald Trump.

At this point in time there is A LOT of trauma that has been activated on both individual and collective levels – some of which has been simmering beneath the surface of society for a while now: the illusory nature of certainty and control – and the distorted responses that ensue; a clear view of social injustices that can no longer be ignored and swept under the rug; and the very real threats to the concept of democracy in the western world that we’re currently seeing play out in the US (which have been happening behind the scenes for A LONG TIME: corporate influences, social media bots, fake news influencing single-issue voters, to name just a few.)

Despite this and the plethora of similar sh*t-flavoured Mcflurry flavours 2020 has dealt us, I posted this journalling prompt into my group mentoring program The Luminous today: 

“What is something that you’re so so so thankful for, that would NOT have happened had it not been for the entirely unique confluence of events that occurred in 2020?”

Because while we absolutely need to acknowledge any and all things that have frightened us or stressed us out this year (and I hope you’re giving yourself the space and time to FEEL IT ALL as it arises in your body), there are still some utterly amazing things that have occurred for all of us – even if it takes us a little while to identify it.

A couple of Saturdays ago, I found myself dancing with reckless abandon to hip-hop coming out of industrial level sub-woofers for the first time in over a year. I let out a pleasure-filled groan so loud, my besties could hear it over the booming music streaming out of the DJ’s speakers. The pleasure moved through my body in rivulets, from the tip of my top-knotted head, down to my throbbing high-heeled toes (how did I ever dance all night in heels previously??). We’d just watched a riotous ‘boylesque’ dance and circus troupe, replete with a Samoan drag queen and writhing in a giant champagne glass to rival Dita Von Teese. 
The pleasure I felt that evening was unparalleled and would have been ‘just another night out’ in pre-Covid times. The whole epic show likely wouldn’t have been in the cabaret/dinner format it had been either, due to Covid restrictions.

This year I spent a lot of time being a tourist in my own backyard, discovering more natural wonders in the beautiful corner of the world I call home, FAR MORE than I would have normally. 

I created several programs to serve my community I’m massively proud of – one of which was in direct response to the pandemic: Bring It Online Babes Bootcamp – and has seen several women go on to successfully bring their businesses online and launch amazing programs that serve their people in a potent and life-changing way. Watching my clients thrive and serve the world by being literal living angels has been such a thrill and privilege throughout this time.

I spent lots of time offline and in deep sacred communion with my intimate soul loves, loving up on one another in ways that kept our inner fires and passion stoked, when things felt heavy, burdensome and mucky.

My neighbourhood created a Covid-cooperative to help everyone who needed support to access it, whether it was going to buy groceries for people isolating, or running errands for the elderly, the community organising to support one another and the openness of communication between strangers has been so heartwarming and lovely. I’ve gotten to know so many people in my local spaces, spending up big locally to support the times of shutdown and slower business brought on by very necessary public health directives to prevent virus spread.

This year, with all of the maelstrom of events occurring, I came into deep realisation of my desire to NOT ADD MORE PAIN to the world. To do my best to ease suffering, or to contribute to joy. A lot of my actions (and non-actions) have subsequently been based on this concept and it feels really great to embody.

So now – it’s your turn! Tune into this simple reflection, “What is something that I’m so so so thankful for, that would NOT have happened had it not been for the entirely unique confluence of events that occurred in 2020?”

Let it help remind you that life can and is still amazing.

There is so much goodness to come of it all, even if we can’t see it yet.

You are loved.

Deeply safe and held.

Utterly needed, cherished and treasured.

And I’m so thankful for the privilege of being in connection with you – even if we’ve never spoken a word before – your presence is still felt and appreciated. I don’t take your eyes on my words for granted. People like you are absolutely what keeps me going in my mission and legacy in the world – you inspire me endlessly.

Merry Christmas / Happy Channukah / Merry Festivus / Happy Holidays!