Are you living from the masculine by default?

22/7/2016

Are you running your life on auto-pilot, defaulting to your masculine traits in your every day life? Residing entirely in your mind and being go-go-go and on-on-on all the time?

How long have you known that there MUST be more to life than manipulating all of the external conditions around you, to make you FEEL better inside?

You’ve spent so long getting the ‘ducks lined up’ (house, job, mortgage, partner/boyfriend/husband, children) thinking this was going to bring you that elusive joy, connection and sense of belonging. But there’s still a niggling emptiness within.

How long have you known that this is not the way you want to live?

For years this was me.

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Society’s Metrics of Success

The metrics of success were defined for me by society and I was determined (by hook or by crook) to achieve them. I thought I had to have all my ducks lined up in a row – high-flying career, designer wardrobe, husband, children, house bought, annual holidays – y’know, the so-called SHEBANG.

I thought success meant masculine striving to achieve until I’d accomplished everything. Two undergraduate degrees, an honours degree and a masters degree – check. Fantastic job, travelling the world and doing work I love – check. Bought a brand new apartment and managed the mortgage on my own – check. Regular holidays to exotic locales – check.

As I went about doing this, I noticed that not only were these so-called trappings of success not making me feel all that was promised – joy, elation, ease, calm – insert synonyms for happiness here. I began to feel a yawning gap within me that just couldn’t be filled by this stuff.

I had achieved so much in my life – but didn’t FEEL any better. Any sense of of fulfilment was brief and fleeting, I was always on to ‘the next thing’ looking for the promised sense of relief or joy that was elusively around every corner.

What was I doing wrong?

I wondered what I was doing ‘wrong’ that I hadn’t yet met my romantic soul partner, not knowing whether I ever would.

I had a complete lack of connection to myself, my inner truth, suffered from crippling comparisionitis, over-analysing everything and living purely in my head.

Amidst all of this – the GO-GO-GO and comparisonitis – I noticed there was no juiciness, passion nor yummy feminine radiance. I was waking up early, getting ready on auto-pilot, commuting to work, working all day, coming home to eat dinner and binge-watch television ’till late, then going to bed exhausted. Rinse and repeat. Living entirely in my head – and thoroughly DISCONNECTED from my soul.

The pub on a Friday night always beckoned – full of empty promises and tall glasses of sauvignon blanc to help me stifle and ignore the longing for SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS.

It wasn’t until I realised my mind, body and soul was screaming for soulful, divinely feminine balance to my masculine-by-default nature, that I began to take my first tentative steps towards surrendering to the beauty and power of the feminine.

I was living ‘all up in my head’ and  focused so externally, I didn’t even realise there was another way I could be in the world.

That living in an overtly masculine manner was actually a choice – and one I could learn to balance and opt out of if I wanted.

Going within

So I began to dive within, and surrender to the divine feminine within me. I began learning and incorporating rituals, practices and ways of being that ultimately reconnected me to my soul, balancing and integrating  both the divine feminine and the divine masculine within me. And this was, frankly, revolutionary. Once we become conscious of our internal energy state – and align with our soul – we begin to see our external worlds respond in kind, with ease and grace.

I shifted from living in my head and driven entirely from the masculine, and into an embodied feminine state. I attracted a radiant tribe of supportive and loving soul sisters, conceived, created and birthed my soul work and passion into the world, activated my abundance, aligned with a romantic soul partner beyond my wildest dreams, and created a life of soulful connection and flow.

If any of my story and my journey sounds familiar to you, or sings to you in any way – I would love to serve you in the loving space of my new course, The Fulfilled Feminine Formula. 

There’s a ridiculously low early bird rate available FOR A FEW DAYS ONLY. Hop on board this magic carpet ride with me, why dontcha?

The Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio

12/7/2016

Want an instant energetic upgrade?

Last week I did a ‘soft launch’ + share of my Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio, which I’ve recorded for week two of The Fulfilled Feminine Formula.

And these are just some of the words used to describe how my ladies felt after listening to it:

“Beyond Luminous”
“Awesome”
“Fantastic”
“Stunning”
“I loved this Activation Audio!”
“LOVE IT SO MUCH!”

Goddess Light Healing Activation Audio
This audio is part of week two’s module of The Fulfilled Feminine Formula – ACTIVATE. This is the week where we activate and begin to embody the sacred feminine within us – think tips, rituals and practices for getting juicy and rejuvenating feminine energy flowing through us. YUMBO.

It was going to only be available for members of my course – but I’ve decided that for a SUPER LIMITED time (seriously, only for another week you guys), the audio is available to download for ANYONE keen tohave an instant energetic upgrade.

She’s kinda magical, if I say so myself.

This activation audio is designed to:

  • Align you with your highest potential and timeline
  • Help you channel cosmic light
  • Open your heart portal
  • Shower you with divine light codes and higher dimensional goodness; and
  • Activate your internal goddess nature

I hope you enjoy your audio! Here’s to those juicy awesome vibes of yours.

 

 

How do you know when it’s time to FULLY commit to yourself? The Three Signs to look out for.

23/6/2016

Last week I finished up my full time job in international community development. Over a decade in the industry, working on over 30 projects spanning from Eastern Africa to Indonesia, Papua New Guinea and Fiji, completing two undergraduate degrees and two postgraduate degrees in this field – and I’ve now wrapped my full time dedication to this work.

Why?

Because I felt the STRONG pull of a higher octave that my soul wanted to reside in. A place that felt far beyond the realms of what I had cultivated and craved for my life in the years past. A path that I carved out for myself.

I have had the most amazing, life-changing, inspiring, and mind-stretching time working in international development – it has truly been an utter treat. But for the past three and a half years, since launching my blog and taking consistent steps towards discovering more of who I TRULY am, another vocation began to call me strongly. My soul slowly unfurled and I began to feel a sense of fulfilment I never had previously.

I was first pulled towards the field of international development in the way that many in the industry are. I felt like I needed to help save the world. The horrendous external conditions many on our planet suffer, tugged at my heart strings hard – and I lassoed myself in the direction of ‘making things better’ for the planet and her inhabitants. Little did I know that in projecting my own internal brokenness, fear, pity and frustration on to the world, I’d come back full circle and discover my REAL work was actually inside me. The discovery that my external world and how I felt about it, was directly influenced by how things were for me internally, woke me up to where my true work resided.

I had been working on ’empowering’ other people around the world, when the person I really needed to empower was myself. And through my own healing journey, I fell into my zone of genius – walking with and supporting other women through their own self-healing.

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It was in the book, The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks that I first heard of the term ‘zone of genius’ – where your greatest passion meets your innate talent. I also like to call it, ‘that thing you’d do all day for free, that lights you up like a Christmas tree’ (check out my kickass poetry, you guys). Well I felt that zone of genius slowly begin to reveal itself to me over the last few years, as I followed my intuition, heart-first, into discovering what I was made of, in every sense of the word. What I discovered blew my mind and radically expanded my horizon.


Three Signs

Speaking with a beloved mentor of mine late last week, in light of my impending big leap into the unknown, we explored the concept of ‘the right time’ to fully commit to our soul’s calling (and *just quietly* that now is really my time to do this).

So how do we know when this is? Are there any clear signals? I think there are a few.

Here are some of the signs I began to notice in myself before I knew I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Three signs you need to FULLY commit to yourself and your soul purpose:

  • You’re feeling drained and depleted: Despite what society can sometimes condition us to believe, we are not supposed to operate in a drained and dried up state on a daily basis. If we’re struggling to get through the day, and it feels like we’re constantly trudging through thigh-deep mud, staring at the clock and willing it to be five o’clock already – this is a sign we are doing something, or things, that are really not congruent with our soul purpose. When we’re channelling energy into an endeavour that’s in alignment with our soul, wild horses can’t drag us away from what we’re doing. It’s energising, not depleting. For reals. I only JUST watched this week’s epic Game of Thrones episode, after being fully immersed in course creation for The Fulfilled Feminine Formula (coming soooooon!). Now that’s saying something.
  • You’re resenting and being triggered by people who are in alignment with their soul work: I have many beautiful examples of aligned and soul-driven women around me and in my circles. They do what truly lights them up and many of them also left high-powered / high-profile j-o-bs to follow their calling. I found myself becoming increasingly triggered by what they were doing in the world – something that I was only really able to do with a tiny slice of my time. And I know that anyone I’m triggered by, is reflecting back to me what I need to accept and integrate within me (both the light and the dark they exhibit). In these cases is a very clear signal of what I really wanted my life to look like.
  • You’re numbing out, ignoring your soul nudges and playing small (when you know you need to play bigger with your life): We all have our ways of numbing out, ways in which we veer downwards in vibration and don’t want to face what’s really going on. I do this by binge-watching shows, sleeping too long, and getting ‘busy’ filling my life with trivial things I need to attend to. One of my intentions for this year was to stop ‘playing small’ and go all in with my soul work, after a year of dancing around the fringes of my heart’s desires. But gosh if it wasn’t a painful process of realisation that I actually needed to EARTH all of my ideas and bring them into reality that sent me into a binge-watching marathon! What if it all falls flat? Gaaaah. It all seemed too hard and scary, and I became very deft at convincing myself that this important work could wait until after I watched one more episode of Orange is the New Black. Resistance is a cunning beast. It wasn’t until I dived within to see what the heck was going on that I realised the scared part of me just needed a little lovin’ care and attention – and an assurance that fear and resistance was just a sign that I’m on the right track.

If you find yourself the proud owner of any of the above feeling states, I’d love to encourage you to tune into what the next right step is for you. Set your intention to come into alignment with who you truly are, and what lights you up. State it out loud, write it down in a journal (or heck just on the back of a receipt) – but really EARTH it and bring it out of your head. Then open up to the avenues and possibilities that present themselves to you. And they will – you just need to look out for them. Tune into what your intuition is telling you to do. Drop into your heart and out of your head and FEEL into what’s right for you.

Discovering your soul’s purpose is as easy and as hard as allowing yourself to discover who you truly are – and living from your soul’s truth every day.


2016’s Energy

The energies of 2016 are of the ‘manifest thick and fast’ variety. We’re quickly calling things into our lives with this energy, and timelines are chopping and changing as quickly as we change our thoughts about something. You can create a new reality for yourself within just a heartbeat of intention. The energy forecast for 2017 is that this ‘manifesting fast’ energy is going to ease off and allow us to coast in whatever direction or frequency level we’ve set ourselves up for this year.

This time is an energy portal that’s ours for the taking, basically, and it’s calling on us to go FULL OUT and ALL IN, like a surfer paddling her heart out to to catch a massive wave. How high are you going to let yourself go? Can you be brave enough to align with your highest potential?

If you’re feeling the pull to activate and align with your highest timeline this year, I’m opening up just TWO spots (first in, first served!) right now for my exclusive 1:1 Private Mentoring for Women, available to you, even if you don’t live in Brisbane – thanks to skype!

If this makes your heart leap or calls to you in any way – I would love for you to apply and we can set up a complimentary 20 minute skype session. Drop me a line at carly@carlystephan.com or check out my 1:1 Private Mentoring page. My clients have been having the most AMAZING results of late (think – healing ancient mother-line wounds, instantly manifesting new houses, jobs, and calling in serious abundance. YAAAAAS!) and I’d love to see the same for you! Let’s have some fun together.

“In short, this girl is a gem! Carly stepped into my life at a time of imbalance and desire for spiritual growth. With her pure energy, she created a safe space of trust and openness for me. Her gentle guidance, coupled with profound wisdom and intuition gave me the opportunity to reconnect fully with myself. Sessions with her during our three months together were filled with inspiring and transformational concepts. This radiant soul brings light wherever she is and celebrates everyone around her. The experience of working with Carly was invaluable.” Philippa A, Brisbane.

Am I thinking positively – or spiritually bypassing?

20/5/2016

There is a trap I often see people fall into when they’re on the path of integrating spiritual teachings and concepts into their lives – and that’s Spiritual Bypassing.

Spiritual bypassing is when people use ‘spirituality’ as an excuse for not facing and feeling uncomfortable emotions or situations. They either go in to ‘Zen-Mode” denial and think they can just OMMMM it away, OR more unfortunately, they fear that if they feel ANYTHING negative – anger, fear, sadness, that they aren’t being spiritual and will instantly draw something negative to them – a la master manifesting style.

Spiritual Bypass

And this is not good, you guys! The power of positive focus and positive thinking is GREAT and can be an extremely positive force in our lives IF it’s balanced with a healthy and conscious approach to facing, feeling and processing our uncomfortable emotions.

In this video I’m chatting about why it’s important to not spiritually bypass, and instead acknowledge and accept where we are (and how not doing this can kinda screw things up for us, in the long run).

No one ‘likes’ feeling awful (well…unless they’re a masochist), so compassion must be generously dished out when we feel like we want to spiritually bypass and run away from our feelings.

I hope this video serves you, loveliest one.

If you are a woman who is ready to STOP spiritually bypassing and start living her most conscious, juicy and spiritually exalted life, replete with an elevated frequency, complete embodied connection, and radiating her life purpose; I’m opening up TWO precious spots in my private 1:1 spiritual mentoring program in June, and I would LOVE to chat with you if this sounds like your jam.

If your heart leaps at the sound of this (even if just a wee bit!) click on over here to find out more, or drop me a line at carly@carlystephan.com 

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you below in the comments – have you fallen into the spiritual bypassing trap? How do you deal with life going a bit pear-shaped sometimes? 

 

I’m nowhere near perfect and why you need to know this

14/4/2016

A few years ago, a close friend of mine came over to my place for a visit, and happened to wander in to my bedroom. Peering into my wardrobe she loudly exclaimed, “My gooooosh, I didn’t expect this!”.

“Expect what?” I asked her, wondering if she’d spotted dirty underwear or an errant sex toy. “I didn’t think that it would be so… unorganised.” I laughed, assuring her that there were a lot of things that weren’t organised in my life (well, in the days before I discovered Marie Kondo *wink*) and I certainly wasn’t perfect. She responded “Hmm, it’s just surprising to me.”

And yes I probably don’t SHOW the mess so much. But it’s definitely there.

Beach

The other day I was flicking through some old journals to get some perspective of what things have been like for me, mentally, emotionally and spiritually over the years. And my gosh, the painful dark and messy places I have been! The torment that poured out of my heart and on to those ink-soaked pages is not pleasant to re-live. It’s a confronting thing for an empath (who feels so keenly) to go back and read previous journal entries that express so much pain – I’m immediately sucked in to the vortex of experiencing that exact tonal vibration within my body, and let me tell you – the elevator goes rapidly down several floors.

Want to know about some of the feeling states I found in those pages? Short of publishing the pages verbatim (which I may do one day, in my book) they can be described as:

  • Feeling completely cut off from love, light and connection.
  • Being tossed around by other people’s emotions and not knowing how to effectively care for my empath self.
  • Feeling forgotten by the universe, abandoned, left behind, lost, bereft of any kind of energetic lifeline to my highest potential.
  • Being thoroughly depleted, exhausted, too tired and overwhelmed to move in the direction of my dreams and soul purpose.
  • The painful frustration of procrastinating like a freaking PRO.
  • Flailing around always looking for EXTERNAL validation.
  • Thinking I had ZERO knowledge of what my purpose was in this world.
  • Worrying I was doing everything wrong.
  • Suffering from severe skin-crawling comparisonitis.
  • Second-guessing myself all the time and thinking I needed to people please first before I considered my own needs.

If I could go back in time, I would energetically put my arms around that frightened young woman, take her by the hand, look in to her eyes and tell her this:

  • This is all in service of your higher path. Even the pain. Especially the pain. You need to plumb these depths because the story of your healing becomes your work. It alchemises into soul work you are meant to bring into this world and share and help people with. You need to GO THROUGH it in order to be able to know in your bones that you can help others traverse the same.
  • Your commitment to your energy work is going to pay off in dividends you cannot even dream. The connection and joy you will feel is indescribable. Stick with it, be disciplined about it, and you will reap MASSIVE benefits.
  • The journey from your head to your heart is the most important one you’ll ever make. Living from your heart connects you to an intelligence, wisdom and energy that is a treasure trove you can call upon anytime.
  • Get the inside sorted and the outside falls in to place (this one’s a work in progress and will take daily reminders).
  • The sooner you commit to your soul purpose, the sooner the life of your wildest dreams comes in.
  • Developing your intuition is super important. Get out of your head and into a feeling state, to access your higher wisdom.
  • Radical self care, love and compassion are the foundation upon which your best, most exalted self will be born.
  • Society at large is a bit nuts (seriously). Don’t buy into the so-called ducks you need to get lined up by a certain time in order to be seen as ‘successful’. There are many crazy people out there who so-called ‘have it all’ but feel completely desolate inside. You do not want to be them. Your soul is calling for majesty and mastery in its purpose.

The reality I live nowadays – feeling connected to source energy, with my energy centres open and humming, firmly embodying my soul purpose, revelling in my femininity, which lives (most of the time) in symbiosis with my inner masculine (when my masculine and mind-oriented self used to completely run the show) is obviously a far cry from what reality used to feel like for me. Don’t get me wrong, I can and do still feel the darkness and difficulty often – but the key is that I now know how to DANCE with it, and feel my way back into my connected, exalted state.

Why do I feel the need to make sure YOU know about where I’ve been? Because I don’t want you to think that I’m sharing here or mentoring from a place of constant mental, emotional, and spiritual perfection. It has been and always will be a bit messy. But it’s a beautiful mess. The reason I am so good at what I do (and can really own my value in this) is because I’ve BEEN where my clients have been and I know how to move through it now with a lot less meandering and getting off track. And very honestly, why would you want to listen to, much less work with, a person who has no idea how to get from where you are to where you want to go?

I’m not the person on the other side of the river bank shouting at you to just, ‘Come on over here! It’s really great once you arrive!’, I wade back through the water, skip on stepping stones, and come to stand by your side. And then, linking arms, we make our way together, to the other river bank.

I’ve poured my heart and soul into designing my signature three month mentoring program that I wish I could have had access to a few years ago, while I was blindly flailing about trying to find my way through a raging river of fear and on to the verdant banks of authentic self love, spiritual connection and soul purpose. My aim with my mentoring program is to arm my clients with tried and true practices I have honed after years of trial and error, mindset shifts, heart-based activations and embodied practice.

I blend the spiritual and the practical in a way that GETS RESULTS, like the following experienced by my clients:

  • Establishing a spiritual practice that actually works
  • Completely dropping destructive negative self talk patterns
  • Aligning with their divine, goddess selves
  • Crystal clear clarity around their soul purpose
  • Shifting from a lack mentality to one of over-flowing abundance
  • Raising their vibrational frequency to align with their highest potential
  • Complete connection with themselves
  • Transformational shifts in to self love
  • Fully integrating divine feminine practices into their daily lives
  • Established self care patterns for their empathic nature
  • Moving from their heads to the hearts, and living an embodied life (that feels AMAZING) every day

I am so lit up by the results my clients get, and continue to get, in my one-on-one work with them. I am so very thrilled to be in service to these amazing goddesses.

However, one result I CANNOT guarantee as a result of my mentoring program is a tidy and organised wardrobe. I’ll leave that one to Marie Kondo.

If your heart leaps at the sound of any of this (even slightly!) click on over here to find out more about my private 1:1 spiritual mentoring, or drop me a line at carly@carlystephan.com. I’m opening up a *teeny tiny* few spots for a handful of women for a very short period of time. I have ONE more spot left for the next while, before I get into launch mode for my upcoming eCourse. So if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, I would LOVE to work with you!

If you’re considering taking up my mentoring program but really want to know whether it’s right for you, I’m currently offering 50% off my ‘one off’ 1:1 Private Mentoring sessions – if you book and pay within the next 48 hours. I rarely offer just the one session as my offerings go DEEP – for real lasting transformational change, which takes time to implement and integrate. But if you want a quick intuitive re-juice, a few tips and tricks on how to bring yourself into alignment and connect to your goddess nature –  flick me an email and we’ll get you booked! But these rates are only available until Saturday 16 April, 6pm (AEST).

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